The internet is plentiful with tips and tricks for heating up your sex life, but not all of them are useful. From exotic herbs to complicated yoga maneuvers, it can sometimes seem like having great sex is way more work than it should be.
Fortunately, it is actually possible to have more fun in the bedroom without resorting to extreme measures. Here are a few simple ways to improve your sex life.
Schedule time to get in the mood rather than scheduling sex itself.
You might have heard that scheduling sex can help you balance your daily life with your sex life, but making sure you plan enough time to actually get in the mood is equally important," holistic gynecologist Anita Sadaty, MD, told Everyday Health.
If going from your last meeting of the day to a scheduled romp in the bedroom sounds anything but arousing, try planning an hour just to unwind with your partner and let sex follow naturally. Alternatively, take a few minutes to yourself and watch a raunchy television drama or kick back with a glass of wine to get yourself in the mood.
Notice any negative thoughts that arise during sex and work on changing them.
If you notice yourself avoiding certain sexual positions or situations, examine the reasons behind your preferences. Do you hate having sex with the lights on because you're self-conscious? Does sex make you feel selfish or guilty?
"If your brain is running a feedback loop of reasons you've picked up along the way — about how you should feel guilty about sex or maybe that your body is too fat or ugly or, well, whatever — it's time tostop it in its tracks," Dr. Sadaty told Everyday Health. "Recognize the thought when it appears and change it to a more helpful one,"
The way you think about sex can have a real impact on your experience of it. In fact,one study found that people who have more open attitudes about sex are more likely to enjoy sex without shame or guilt.
Don't be embarrassed to use lubricants when you need or want them.
Adding a lubricant to your sexual routine can cut down on friction and irritation, making sex more comfortable and fun for both parties.
Using lubricant once in a while (or even all the time) doesn't mean there's anything wrong with your or your body. If you feel like lube would make sex more enjoyable for you or your partner, give it a go.
"Everyone needs lube at some point," professor of obstetrics and gynecology Hilda Hutcherson told Everyday Health. "Don't be afraid of it. Just have fun with it."
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