• Whether you’re in the honeymoon phase or you and your partner just can't seem to leave the bedroom, you might be wondering if there's such a thing as too much sex. 
• The good news is, as long as you are happy and comfortable physically and emotionally, you can enjoy as much sex as you want.
• But there are certainly uncomfortable physical situations that can arise from having too much sex— here’s what you should look out for.

Each person’s definition of a good sex life is different, and while some people are perfectly fine to rarely have sex, others prefer to have it multiple times a day.

Still, you might be wondering if it’s possible to have too much sex. Whether you’re in the honeymoon phase with a new partner, on vacation enjoying getaway sex thanks to all that extra free time, or point-blank love having a lot of sex, you might wonder how much is too much for your body and mind to handle.

The good news is, as long as both you and your partners are happy and comfortable, there really is no such thing as too much sex.

"There’s no limit to the amount of sex anyone can have, but there are physical issues that might leave you a little, shall we say, uncomfortable days later," Diana Bitner, M.D., an OB/GYN told Women’s Health Magazine. Even though you can have as much sex as you’re comfortable with, there are plenty of surefire signs that your body has had enough.

The first obvious sign is vaginal dryness. If things are feeling dry down below, it might be because your body has experienced too much prolonged contact or penetration. When this happens, tiny micro-tears in the vagina can occur, which can be seriously painful.

"Vaginal tears can happen with too much sex, especially if there are any other conditions such as vaginal dryness from low dose birth control pills," said Dr. Bitner.

"Too much" sex can cause a urinary tract or vaginal infection if you're not careful. 

Sherry Ross, M.D., an OB/GYN and women’s health expert in Santa Monica, California agreed, noting that the more sex you have in a short amount of time, the less natural moisture your body is able to produce.

"This typically causes friction and pain, which is your body’s signal to press pause," she told Women's Health Magazine.

Too much sex can also cause irritation, chafing, or rashes on the external skin around the vulva, and your labia can become engorged and swollen, added Dr. Bitner.

Another unpleasant side effect of too much sex is an increase in the risk of bladder and vaginal infections. Bodily fluids can knock your vagina’s natural pH levels out of whack making you more susceptible to infection.

You should always use the bathroom before and after sex to help keep your vagina healthy, but too much intercourse can still cause an infection, and you might not notice until days later.

"Semen has a pH of seven, which can support unhealthy bacteria within the vagina,"said Dr. Bitner. "That combined with too much friction from sex could increase the chance of bacteria from the vagina and anus finding their way into the bladder causing a urinary tract infection [UTI]."

According to Prevention, common signs of an infection include increased urge to urinate with little or nothing coming out, burning, and urine that is cloudy, pink, or has blood in it, as well as unusual discharge, pain, or odors. But these symptoms don’t always appear, so check with your doctor if you’re not sure.

People with penises can experience physical symptoms as well. 

People with penises can also experience pain, irritation, and soreness from too much sex. 

"When people ejaculate eight-10 times over the weekend from Friday to Sunday, it’s going to cause some pain and discomfort when you go to that extreme amount," said Jonthan D. Schiff, M.D., assistant clinical professor of urology at the Icahn School of Medicine at Mount Sinai Hospital in New York City, to Muscle and Fitness.

"It’s like anything else. If you’re doing an activity steadily, your body will be able to tolerate it when you push it more,"said Dr. Schiff.

Communication with your partner is key. 

Aside from the potential for unpleasant physical symptoms, there’s also the psychological aspects of having "too much sex." Certified sex therapist Kat Van Kirk told Brides magazine, "One or more partners may feel overwhelmed by the expectation to perform sexually more than the other and this can cause withdrawal and resentment."

You should be regularly checking in with your partner — and yourself — to ensure that the amount of sex you’re having is what you’re both happy with. 

"Using sex as a way to resolve problems in the relationship in lieu of talking about them might be a way that a couple uses sex to avoid the actual work of the relationship," sex expert Madeleine Castellanos, M.D, told Brides. She added that while "sex is a source of pleasure and vitality and it's natural to have a strong drive for it if you find that you look for sex compulsively, you may be using sex as an outlet for something else."

Though compulsive sexual behaviors and sex addiction as a psychiatric disorder is a hotly debated topic by researchers and medical experts, only you and your partner can determine if your sexual patterns are interfering with your life in a problematic way. Dr. Castellanos added, "if stuff is not getting done — like cleaning the house, going to work, or taking care of your basic needs — in order to have sex, then it's probably too much sex."

When it comes down to it, the choice is up to you. 

How much sex you have is entirely up to you — whether that means daily, weekly, monthly, or never at all.

"When it comes to the frequency of sex, each person has their preference, which is then limited by their schedule, their sleep pattern, and of course, their partner's availability … Couples will find their own ebb and flow. There will be times of more sex and times of less. The most important thing is to stay connected and communicate so that you can weather and enjoy wherever you are on the spectrum," Dr. Castellanos told Brides.

Communication is the most important aspect to a healthy sex life, so be sure to check in with your partner and with yourself to ensure you’re on the same page and enjoying the amount of sexual activity that you feel comfortable with.

Sign up here to get INSIDER's favorite stories straight to your inbox.

Join the conversation about this story »

NOW WATCH: What happens when you hold in your pee for too long

• A Reddit thread has led to a bizarre new sex trend called "peegasm."
• A Redditor claims their girlfriend holds in her pee for as long as possible to give her an intense orgasm when she goes to the bathroom, which prompted other users to reply that they've experienced the same.
• Experts do not recommend attempting this trend as holding in your pee can lead to health complications such as urinary tract infections or weakened bladder muscles. 

Talk of the so-called "peegasm" is doing the rounds on the internet advice factory once again, but don't believe the hype, doctors are warning it could be a dangerous idea. Here's why.

A Redditor started a thread about how their girlfriend holds in her pee for as long as possible because it gives her an intense orgasm when she eventually goes to the bathroom. Numerous other users nodded along and testified to the story, although some doubted just how sexual the sensation really was. Nevertheless, beyond this thread, it is not an unusual sensation for people to experience.

Before we get into the nitty-gritty of why avoiding nature's call is not a good idea, you're probably curious about what is actually going on here, physiologically speaking. Well, the relationship between pee and sexual stimulation is a long and confusing one, especially among women.

"The clitoris, vagina, and urethra (which connects to the bladder) are located very close to one another," sexual health consultant Celeste Holbrook, PhD, told Shape Magazine in 2016. "A full bladder can push onto some of the more sensitive and arousing parts of the genitalia, such as the clitoris and its branches. Many women use stimulation in one or more of these areas to stimulate the others."

Now that's cleared up, there are a few good reasons you really shouldn't hold in your pee in an attempt to get your rocks off.

Join the conversation about this story »

NOW WATCH: North Korean defector: Kim Jong Un 'is a terrorist'

• Ashley Madison is a website for married people seeking affairs. Their resident relationship expert is sex therapist Tammy Nelson.
• Nelson said there are, generally speaking, two types of affairs: those in which people want to leave their primary relationship and those in which they don't.
• Other experts say people in the second category are sometimes more dissatisfied with themselves than they are with their primary relationship.

There are tons of reasons why people cheat on their partners, and tons of ways to do it.

But generally speaking, you can boil down all these affairs into two discrete categories.

That's according to Tammy Nelson, a sex and relationship therapist and the resident relationship expert at Ashley Madison, one of the most popular websites for people seeking affairs. Nelson has been in practice for about three decades, and she joined Ashley Madison recently as an outside consultant.

When I spoke with Nelson by phone, she told me that people who stray typically either want to leave their primary relationship or don't.

People in the first category wind up in what Nelson calls a "can-opener" affair. "That's when you have an affair because you want out," she said, "and you don't know how to end it."

In Nelson's experience, women are more likely than men to have can-opener affairs. "It's kind of a passive-aggressive way of saying, ‘I want out,' even before I know I want out."

Other people having affairs don't necessarily want to leave their primary relationship. Instead, Nelson said, "it's a way of filling that one part of their life that their marriage doesn't. And then they feel like they have everything."

She shared a hypothetical example: "Maybe their marriage gives them physical and emotional validation, but they're not getting the sexual risk-taking that they would want. So they get that from the affair."

Interestingly, Nelson said some people may only see their affair partner a couple times a year — "but when they do, it's like a full blowout, and then they come back to their marriage and they're perfectly happy."

Relationship experts say an affair doesn't always suggest that the person is dissatisfied with their marriage

A (non-scientific) study supports Nelson's observations. HuffPost reported that Victoria Milan, another site for married people seeking affairs, surveyed 4,658 members and found that 69% said they don't think about leaving their significant others.

Meanwhile, couples therapist Esther Perel previously told Business Insider that, oftentimes, an affair has little to do with a person's satisfaction or dissatisfaction with their relationship. Instead, the person may be unhappy with themselves. (Nelson also suggested that some people who have affairs are simply bored with themselves.)

When Nelson sees clients who are having an affair but don't want to leave their marriage, she often hears them say things like, "My husband would never do that" — "that" being some kind of sexual behavior.

"That may or may not be true," Nelson said of the client's rationale. "It might just be a story that they make up to justify it." On the other hand, she mused, maybe the client is right. "Maybe we can't get everything we need from one person."

SEE ALSO: The very traits that make you good at your job can also make you terrible in relationships

Join the conversation about this story »

NOW WATCH: This 24-karat gold bike sold for $327,970 — here's how it was made

• Sex and relationship therapists say infidelity is more complex than most of us are inclined to believe.
• For example, couples can sometimes find renewed honesty and intimacy after the discovery of an affair.
• This post is part of Relationships 101, a series which aims to help us all be happier and healthier in love — and to stop fighting over who should take out the trash.

Cheating = bad. Fidelity = good.

This is the logic to which most of us subscribe. And yet if you ask a relationship expert, they'll likely offer a more nuanced perspective, both on people who stray and on the implications of affairs.

Over the past year, I've spoken to a series of therapists about infidelity among modern couples, and they've all surprised me with their insights. Below, see three of the most intriguing observations I heard about cheating:

Couples sometimes reconnect emotionally after the discovery of an affair

Couples therapist Esther Perel would never recommend that someone deliberately cheat on their partner in order to improve their relationship.

But she has observed the way some couples find renewed honesty and intimacy after it's revealed that one partner has had an affair.

Perel told Business Insider, "It's a reevaluation of what happened: How did we become so estranged from each other? How did we lose our connection? How did we become so numb to each other? And the galvanizing of the fear of losing everything that we have built sometimes brings us back face-to-face, with a level of intensity that we haven't experienced in a long time."

Most people who cheat don't actually want to leave their relationship

Some people who cheat on their partners really do want out — and having an affair is the only way they know how to begin that process. But other people are simply looking to spice things up.

That's according to Tammy Nelson, a sex and relationship therapist and the relationship expert at Ashley Madison, a website for people seeking affairs.

Nelson shared a hypothetical example: "Maybe their marriage gives them physical and emotional validation, but they're not getting the sexual risk-taking that they would want. So they get that from the affair."

In fact, Nelson said some people may only see their affair partner a couple times a year — "but when they do, it's like a full blowout, and then they come back to their marriage and they're perfectly happy."

Don't discount your gut feelings about your partner's attraction to a 'friend'

"Emotional affairs" are becoming increasingly common, and unlike with a physical affair, it can be hard to know if your partner is having one.

According to marriage and family therapist Sheri Meyers, it's important to listen to your intuition. Maybe you've noticed your partner changing the way they act when the other person is around, or maybe they've been weirdly critical of that person.

If you feel like there might be something not exactly platonic going on between your partner and their friend, that's worth exploring — even if ultimately you're wrong.

SEE ALSO: I asked 3 relationship experts for the best ways to cut off arguments before they start

Join the conversation about this story »

NOW WATCH: This 24-karat gold bike sold for $327,970 — here's how it was made

Like many issues related to health and sexuality, myths about the G-spot— the erogenous zone supposedly inside the vagina that can help a person achieve a particular kind of orgasm— are astoundingly common.

This is due, in large part, to the fact that there is a lot of disagreement as to what the G-spot is and whether it a real thing. Every so often, a study will be released saying the G-spot doesn't actually exist and, almost immediately after, a number of people clamor to confirm the G-spot does, in fact, exist. 

Clearly, there are many questions about the G-spot. To find the answers, INSIDER talked with gynecological surgeon Dr. Prudence Hall, author of the book "Radiant Again & Forever," and OB-GYN Dr. Alyssa Dweck, author of "The Complete A to Z for Your V" to break down the things you should — and shouldn't — believe about the G-spot. 

1. Is the G-spot even real?

A 2017 study published in the Journal of Sexual Medicine, in which scientists dissected the front portion of the vaginal wall of 13 female cadavers in search of the G-spot, did not find any evidence whatsoever of the G-spot's existence.

But another study published in the Journal of Sexual Medicine in 2012 found that, although the G-spot is not a "discrete anatomic entity,"increased sensitivity in the anterior region of the vagina does exist. 

Hall, for her part, is a believer.

"I believe that the G-spot is where the nerve fibers of the clitoris originate, and women certainly do talk about the quality of the orgasm being different when it's stimulated," she told INSIDER.

2. If the G-spot is real, then what is it?

So, let's say that the G-spot is real. In that case, what is it?

"In a nutshell, the 'G-spot' — or Grafenberg spot — is an area on the anterior vagina, very sensitive to touch and potentially capable of producing very intense orgasm with stimulation," Dweck told INSIDER. 

According to Planned Parenthood, all people with vaginas have the spot, but some will achieve orgasm from having it stimulated and others won't. 

3. Is the G-spot totally different from the clitoris?

Many people refer to the G-spot as though it is a totally separate entity from the clitoris. But, in reality, the clitoris is likely larger than many people think and actually extends into the vagina rather than solely existing outside of it.

Because of this, the G-spot is probably a part of the clitoris, just in a different location than you may be used to.

"The G-spot is an area [that is] most likely a continuation of the clitoral tissue into the vagina and it's located right above the pubic bone," Hall told INSIDER. "If you put your finger in your vagina and it's facing the bladder, not the rectum, it's right past the public bone. Anatomically, it connects to the clitoris and that's why the G-spot is so sensitive, because it's clitoral tissue." 

Believe it or not, there are so many things that can impact your sex drive.

Of course, sex drives vary not only from person to person but based on so many factors, from the medications you take to how you feel about your body and your mental health.

But if you’re looking for a little libido boost, there are plenty of surprising things you can do that will help you want to have more sex, from the foods you eat to your choice of exercise.

Here are 12 totally shocking things you had no idea can help boost your sex drive.

Horror movies — or anything else that scares you just enough.

Watching a scary flick is pretty divisive — most people either love to be scared or totally hate the feeling. But watching horror movies, with their jump scares and that telltale terrifying music, is a surefire way to get your adrenaline pumping, which can quickly boost libido, according to Inverse. 

But if you’re not a horror fan, any sort of adrenaline-pumping activity can have the same effect, from hearing the sound of a sports car rev its engine to exciting date ideas like zip-lining, surfing, or going on thrill rides at your local amusement park will all work, because those feelings of fear and excitement mimic sexual arousal in the brain, according to The Telegraph.

Plus, watching a frightening flick or sitting next to your partner on a rollercoaster will no doubt invite you to cuddle up close, getting your heart racing in more ways than one.

Regularly exercise to increase your libido.

There are so many benefits of regular exercise on both your body and brain, but it turns out that one surprising benefit can come in the form of a boost to your sex drive, too.

“Exercise stimulates testosterone production, which is key to a strong libido,” Holly Richmond, PhD, a somatic psychologist and AASECT certified sex therapist, told YourTango. 

And it seems getting your fitness on with your partner will encourage you to do other things with your partner, too. Richmond told YourTango that “exercising with your partner is a great way to do something together that makes you feel strong, confident and, as a byproduct, sexy.”

As for what exercises are best, Richmond said, “Yoga has been shown to help combat fatigue and stress while decreasing symptoms of depression and anxiety, all of which can contribute to a low libido.” Plus, yoga is great for balance, strength, and flexibility — all things that can make you more confident in the bedroom.

But if you’re not a yogi, no sweat. Recent research claims that spin and cycle classes boost sex drive in women in particular, but just about any type of exercise helps produce those feel-good chemicals, like serotonin and dopamine, which will naturally cause you to desire more sex.

Equally strange, a 2007 study published by The Journal of Neuroscience showed that people who identify as women are aroused by the scent of a person who identifies as male’s sweat due to the spike in cortisol, the stress hormone when they catch a whiff. Sure, it might sound gross, but it’s all the more reason to grab those sneakers … and perhaps join each other for a post-workout shower.

Drink plenty of water and you'll want to do it no time.

Shahnoz Rustamova, MD, a gynecologist at Central Park Medical Practice in New York City told Prevention that dehydration can wreak havoc on your libido by causing headaches and vaginal dryness. 

To know whether or not you're consuming enough water, it's important to take notice of the color of your pee.

"Your urine tells you a lot. If you are going to the restroom and your urine is very dark, or an apple juice color, that's a sign that you need more water," dietitian Andy Bellatti, MS, RD, previously told INSIDER.

If you need more water, that could be the culprit for your low sex drive. 

• Anxiety can quickly interfere with sexual satisfaction and contribute to other issues like depression and low self-esteem. 
• The most common sexual anxieties include STIs, body image, achieving orgasm and unintended pregnancy.
• Those suffering from sexual anxiety should consider seeking out sex therapists and educators in order to acknowledge the issue. Many people are not even aware of their partner's anxiety. 

Sexual anxieties can dampen the mood in short-term or long-term situations. And yes, those anxieties affect all of us at one point and a time. For some people, these sexual-performance anxieties can plague relationships and interfere with sexual satisfaction. When a looming cloud over your sex life exists, it can contribute to a variety of other issues, like depression and low self-esteem. There are entire books and articles published on how to have better sex and how to achieve an orgasm, but what about dealing with the topic of anxiety and how that affects your time in the bedroom? 

A 2016 study conducted by Superdrug Online Doctor found that American and European cisgender women and cisgender men actually share many of the same anxieties, the most common being STIs, body image, achieving orgasm and unintended pregnancy.

Sexual issues or sexual dysfunctions are common, which oftentimes leads couples to seek out therapy, psychotherapist Dr. Keisha Downey tells SheKnows. "Common sexual-performance anxieties that individuals with a vagina have included but are not limited to: not having an orgasm from sexual intercourse, stress or worries about being naked or how their bodies may appear to their partners and worrying if they will perform well enough to maintain a healthy sex life with their partner," she explains.

These anxieties create a conditioned response in the body in which those experiencing any sexual stress feel as if they can't live up to social expectations, which will ultimately affect relationships and self-esteem. Here are the four most-common sexual anxieties and how to overcome them — with some help from experts.

STIs

The Superdrug study found that for cis women, fear of contracting an STI was one of their top concerns. Whether you have an STI, which could cause you some anxiety when telling your new partner, or whether you're scared of picking something up from a new partner, it's best to open up a dialogue around sexual health before having sex with someone for the first time. 

Since 80 percent of sexually active adults will have HPV at some point in their lives, a talk about what STIs are, how they can affect you and what the outcome can be is very important. Moreover, the dating app PositiveSingles welcomes people who have herpes or other types of STIs. 

Body image

Being naked makes some people feel vulnerable. And with a society so rich with body-shaming and body image, people with vaginas may wonder if their body looks normal and compare their body with those they see in popular media. Labiaplasty — which has increased in popularity by 39 percent in 2016 alone — is a surgery that attempts to give people a "designer vagina" by lifting or trimming the labia. 

Low self-esteem can significantly affect your sex life with your partner, as someone can be far too focused on how they look instead of how they feel. Researchers at the University of Guelph found that the cisgender women who felt more negatively about their bodies had lower sexual desire, lower sexual arousal and reported more difficulty achieving orgasm. 

Achieving orgasm

According to a study published in the Archives of Sexual Behavior in 2011, 80 percent of people with a vagina fake an orgasm during intercourse at least half of the time. The study also found that they became more vocal when they felt that their partner with a penis was about to climax. They did this in order to boost self-esteem, sacrificing their own ability to orgasm. This is important to note because thanks to the pleasure gap, people with a vagina may not feel as confident achieving an orgasm as someone with a penis does, especially since this person's orgasm is prioritized. 

"Folks with vulvas are often overwhelmed by contradictory messages that are shaming, blaming and often just biologically inaccurate," Shadeen Francis, a marriage and family therapist specializing in sex therapy and social justice, tells SheKnows. "As a result, a lot of people have performance anxiety around things like whether or not they will have an orgasm, what their partner(s) will think of their body or the smell of their vulva and whether or not their drive or desires are normal." 

Performance anxiety impacts a lot of people, not just the person experiencing it firsthand, but anyone they might be interested in having sex with, Francis explains. Given that a lot of performance anxiety could be addressed with better sex education and fewer shaming messages, she notes, "It really is a cultural issue."

More: My Anxiety Got Me Fired From 5 Jobs

Unintended pregnancy or condoms

For both cis males and cis women, pregnancy is a major concern according to the Superdrug survey. Broken condoms or not using one is a fear that overlaps between the two. Especially if a broken condom has happened to you before, the anxiety can be overwhelming as you're worried that it may happen again. 

Having an IUD or taking some form of birth control on top of wearing a condom can eradicate the anxieties over STIs and pregnancy. In the era of hookup culture and dating apps, no one wants to worry about an unintended pregnancy. It's important to be open and honest with your partner (even if you're only sleeping with them once) so an understanding is established over using protection. 

When to get professional help

Seeking out sex therapists and educators is a way to look into receiving treatment. "If you're struggling with this or the feelings of anxiety overall, I would recommend folks schedule an appointment with a sex therapist, who is a clinician specially trained to help people overcome their sexual concerns," Francis advises. 

The most important aspect of involving a professional is to acknowledge the issue, Downey says, adding that many of her patients who are in relationships aren't even aware of their partner's anxiety. 

"Once in therapy, concerns of this nature and more can be addressed, later leading to identifying alternative ways of being intimate and connecting both emotionally and physically," Downey explains. "This helps to strengthen the sexual intimacy, which can lessen or reduce anxiety within the individual person."

Sex isn't one-size-fits-all. It doesn't appear in the same shape and form. Everybody and everyone is different. Addressing the issue firsthand with yourself and again with your partner can help an individual overcome obstacles within the bedroom. Including a professional in your dialogue can help guide you or your partner to understanding that you aren't broken, that you can be mended and you can tackle your sexual anxieties. 

For more great stories, head to INSIDER's homepage.

Join the conversation about this story »

NOW WATCH: What happens when you hold in your pee for too long

• A new study suggests drinking in moderation could boost male fertility.
• Men who drank four to seven units a week had higher sperm counts and semen volume.
• But the study comes with limitations, such as people self reporting their drinking habits.
• More research is needed to really know what the impact is.

There's no doubt that drinking too much alcohol is pretty bad for you, but it's hard to keep up with whether or not drinking in moderation can have positive benefits.

For example, past research has appeared to show how having a few drinks a week may improve heart health. But some studies have since been revised, due to poor methodology or the fact that they were funded by the alcohol industry.

Scientists are trying to clear up the confusion, and one study earlier this year did find people who drink in moderation could actually live longer than teetotalers. And according to a new study, published in the journal Andrology, men who drink around four to seven units of alcohol a week may be more fertile than those who drink less.

The researchers recruited 323 men, about 10% of whom were teetotal, 30% drank one to three units a week, 30% drank four to seven units a week, and the remaining 30% drank more than eight units a week.

According to the results, drinking four to seven units a week was linked to higher sperm count and semen volume. In other words, the men who drank moderately were likely to be more fertile.

The study adds to a convoluted body of research. For instance, one study from 2014 found that sperm concentration and total sperm count were negatively associated with alcohol intake. Another study from 2005 suggested semen volume and sperm concentration were lower in alcoholics compared with abstainers.

"However, in other studies alcohol did not seem to play any role," Elena Ricci et al wrote in the new paper. "The inconsistency between our findings and previous studies may be due to the different way of categorization of alcohol consumption and to the different drinking habits of the populations studied."

There's also the problem with self reporting, which can skew results. People tend to be dishonest — intentionally or not — when they talk about things like their sex lives, drugs, and alcohol consumption.

Ricci said in a statement that in Italy alcohol consumption is common, but usually limited to small quantities, and "since the dose makes the poison, they are counselled to limit but not avoid alcohol."

Drinking excessively is notoriously bad for health, and has been shown to lower testosterone and sperm levels. But when it comes to drinking in moderation, more research is needed to conclude what the real benefits and costs are.

In terms of fertility, recent research has shown how diet can have an impact. Earlier this year, a study found that eating two handfuls of nuts a day could improve men's sperm counts. Certain vitamins, such as zinc, have also been associated with women going into the menopause later.

SEE ALSO: Eating nuts could boost fertility in men, according to a new study

Join the conversation about this story »

NOW WATCH: Why cities can't get rid of rats

• A recent study done at the University of Leicester found that women are proportionally more likely than men to watch male-on-male porn.
• Gay male porn was the second most popular choice for female Pornhub visitors.
• Some women who participated in the study said they prefer male-on-male porn because portrayals of women in straight porn can trigger feelings of sexual assault.
• Many women described the experience of watching gay male porn as "empowering" and "exciting."

It turns out women's porn habits are just as naughty as men's — but possibly not in the way you'd expect.

According to a recent study by Dr. Lucy Neville from the University of Leicester, a surprising number of women are watching scenes aimed at gay men while they, uh, switch to one-player mode.

This shouldn't actually be a surprise to those paying attention. Last year, Pornhub (that's fairly SFW, unless your office has banned bar charts) dug a little deeper into their annual review and revealed that over a quarter of their users were women. What's more, when you look at the users watching gay male porn, the audience is 37 percent female. As Pornhub's report notes, that makes women proportionally more likely than men to watch gay male porn by 69 percent (nice).

"There is growing acceptance that it is perhaps not quite as uncommon as first thought," explained Neville in a statement about her research. "For example, m/m [gay male porn] was the second most popular choice for women visitors to Pornhub for the last two years of viewer data...women represent viable secondary consumers of m/m porn."

To find out why women seem to be such fans of man-on-man action, Neville's study asked over 500 women, found via social media or porn sites, what it was that got them clicking those buttons. "Some of the reasons are pretty self-evident: it probably shouldn’t be surprising that a good number of women like looking at naked men," she says in an article for The Conversation. Unsurprisingly, it turns out porn designed for straight men doesn't tend to give opportunities to ogle much male eye candy.

But some respondents gave deeper reasons for the preference. Women reported feeling guilty about the female actors in straight porn — something they don't have to worry about for a scene starring only men. For some, this had a distressingly personal meaning — "For a subset of women who are rape and abuse survivors, m/m is one of the few types of sexually explicit media they can enjoy without feeling triggered or re-traumatized," Neville explained.

Perhaps one of the most surprising findings of the study was that over half of the women watching m/m porn also imagine themselves as a man while masturbating. Many described the experience as "empowering" and "exciting" — even feeling sorry for men, who they believed feel less freedom to experiment with their identity in this way. 

No doubt some readers will find these results hard to swallow, but they only add to the mounting research challenging old gender stereotypes when it comes to sex. And let's face it: if men can watch lesbian porn — or Star Wars, World Cup, or Hawaii missile alert porn, for that matter — then we probably shouldn't think women watching gay male porn is so unusual.

For more great stories, head to INSIDER's homepage.

Join the conversation about this story »

NOW WATCH: I tried the newest BlackBerry phone for a week

Sexual chemistry is pure, unscientific fun — kind of like astrology. You can't pick who you're attracted to, just like you can't really explain why you keep reading your horoscope even when it consistently has nothing to do with your life.

These two metaphysical phenomena — sexual chemistry and astrology — go together like Leos and the spotlight. 

Just keep in mind that even astrologically speaking, a lot more goes into sexual chemistry than your sun signs.

Mars is said to be the planet whose placement at your birth most affects your sexuality and physical energy, while Venus governs love and intimacy, according to Sexual Astrology. You can figure out someone's moon, Mars, and Venus signs by entering their birth date, place, and time into any free calculator found online.

But back to good, old-fashioned sun sign compatibility — a few pairings are pretty much guaranteed to hit it out of the park sexually. Using guidance from our own intuition, online astrology expertSusan Miller, and SexualAstrology.com, here are the zodiac signs who are likely to have amazing sex together. 

Leo and Sagittarius will convince themselves they’re having mind-blowing sex.

It’s no secret that Leos can be selfish. And while ignoring the needs of their partner, they’ll also pat themselves on the back for being sex gods — and we all know that anyone who proclaims they’re good in bed is rarely that.

Lucky for Leo, though, adventurous Sagittarians love to collect new and exciting notches on their bedposts. Therefore, they’re supremely turned on by anyone who fancies themselves king of the jungle. Sagittarians love a big, shiny target, and Leos are certainly that.

A Sagittarius will be so into their Leo’s charisma and presence, they won’t even notice any sexual shortcomings. Meanwhile, Leos, who are rock stars in their minds, will get off on the feeling that they’re deigning to hook up with a fan. These two are the type to sext exclusively in compliments and butt-naked mirror selfies.

This is one pairing that’s guaranteed to stay neatly in the friends-with-benefits zone. Neither sign excels at monogamy.

Taurus and Pisces will push each other toward freaky new territory.

A Taurus bull can be stuck in their ways, which makes them seem like a nightmare match for the signs that are into bedroom experimentation — well, all except for Pisces.

Pisces are symbolized by a fish that swims in two directions. They’re easygoing and adaptable, the perfect partners for anyone who knows exactly what they want and refuses to budge. When a Taurus and a Pisces first hook up, the Pisces will cater to their bull’s requests. But after the Taurus sees how willing the Pisces is to submit, they’ll become the most experimental and giving partner around.

Basically, this is a total "50 Shades" situation, with Christian as the Taurus and Anastasia as the Pisces. Another sign partnered with someone as set in their ways as him or as wishy-washy as her would get bored pretty quickly. But when you put them together, it works.

Gemini and Aquarius will sext like there’s no tomorrow.

Gemini and Aquarius are both intrepid, outside-of-the-box thinkers who will try pretty much anything once. So in the bedroom, they’ll suit each other perfectly, although they might not get much sleep.

These two signs are also the zodiac’s most notorious chatterboxes. This means a Gemini and Aquarius pairing can expect dirty talk, workday sexting that would land them in the hall of fame, and plenty of deep post-coital conversations.

But be forewarned: If you’re a Gemini with an Aquarius hookup buddy or vice versa, you might catch feelings. These two signs are pretty compatible in every way.

• Mistress Montana is a Dallas-based dominatrix. 
• She has been in the field for 28 years and charges her clients at least $325 per session.
• Throughout her career as a dominatrix, she's discovered how empowering the job can be.

If there is anyone in this world who understands how the human mind works, it might be a woman who goes by Mistress Montana.

Mistress Montana is not a psychologist or philosopher, nor is she a sophisticated AI robot. Rather, she is a professional dominatrix based out of Dallas, Texas, who says her career has allowed her to meet and understand the true essence of various high-powered people.

INSIDER talked to Mistress Montana about her job, how she got into it, and what, exactly, a session with her might entail.

Mistress Montana was introduced to the dominatrix industry after becoming a phone sex operator. 

After college, Mistress Montana worked for a construction firm in Dallas, but didn't feel at home in an office.  

"I hated it. I hated working for somebody, I hated the long hours I was putting in," she told INSIDER. "I was putting in 12 to 14 hour days, and I was like, 'OK. There's got to be something else.' So out of the blue, I decided that I was going to quit."

She started a business in which she sold gift baskets for apartment complexes to give to their new tenants. Unfortunately, she didn't earn a lot of money.

To make ends meet, she answered an ad in the newspaper to become a phone sex operator, and found that she felt more personal satisfaction from a few hours on the phone sex line than she had in her 12-hour days at the construction firm. She was also pretty good at it — so good at it, in fact, that the woman who ran the phone sex line, who happened to be a dominatrix, invited Mistress Montana to join her when she opened up a new dungeon in Dallas.

There, Mistress Montana really thrived. According to the FAQ section on her website, she has always "possessed an erotic, perverse, and mischievous mind with a penchant for psychological torture," and she was "born" a dominant person. Those factors, coupled with the ability to make good money outside of an office, made it so that she knew being a dominatrix was the right path for her.

Eventually, Mistress Montana branched out on her own and, 28 years later, she's still at it.

Now, Mistress Montana has several dungeons of her own — in Dallas, London, and Dayton — and a 800-person client list for her services, for which she charges $325 an hour.

Many things can happen in Mistress Montana's dominatrix session — but not sex. 

Although her work is obviously sexual in nature, Mistress Montana does not have sex with her clients — and, according to her, they'd be disappointed if she did. Instead, she offers them a specific kind of erotic control they can't get anywhere else.

"I might blindfold them. In fact, most of the time I do blindfold them, because they're such people that they believe they're always in control," she told INSIDER. "My job is to take them out of that. My job is to put them into a place where they're not comfortable, where they're going to have to trust me and just accept. And that's really difficult for a lot of people, even though they're coming in for that very thing."

How that control is enacted depends, in large part, on the client's personal preference. Luckily, no matter what they're into, Mistress Montana has them covered — her dungeons are equipped with whips, paddles, hoods, pegs, canes, electronic devices. robes, and a swing in which clients can be fully suspended.

All of the activity in the dungeon adds up to what Mistress Montana describes as being foreplay-adjacent which, for her clients, might be a novelty.

"I blindfold them, I put their arms in the air, and then I do a little accessory play, feather touch on their chest, rub my hands down, I might take off their underwear, and then I'll lightly skirt by their [penis] without touching it," Mistress Montana told INSIDER. "It's erotic, it's sensual. Unfortunately, most men are not used to foreplay. And this really is kind of like foreplay." 

Mistress Montana's clients tend to be wealthy men who want to escape the stress of the corporate world.  

Having briefly worked in an office, Mistress Montana understands what might be going through her clients' heads on a day-to-day basis. This helps build the connection between her and her clients. 

Of course, their jobs are also the reason they are able to afford to blow what is roughly the price of one GPS-equipped Apple Watch on an hour of domination.

"You have to have a certain type of job and a certain level of income in order to be able to spend $325 on a recreational activity," she told INSIDER. "So, I see a tremendous amount of people who are in high-stress positions. Most of them are at the pinnacle of their career and are very successful, but they're also very stressed and need a release."

Mistress Montana views the mission of her career as a way to free her clients from their self-and-society-imposed repression. In a way, it's almost like therapy — a therapy session that happens to be held in a sex dungeon, sure, but therapeutic nonetheless.

"When it comes to sex, it speaks volumes to who we are as people," Mistress Montana told INSIDER. "But it's so taboo. We deflect it, we push it down, we hide it, and it's not something we want to talk about. But the more you resist it the more it comes up again."

Mistress Montana says becoming a dominatrix gives you a sense of power and confidence that may affect romantic relationships — but it's not a bad thing. 

Before hiring apprentices to help out in her dungeons, Mistress Montana has a serious talk with them about how the job can impact their love life 

"I'll tell them, if they have a boyfriend or husband, they need to really think about it before you start doing this position and working at this job," she told INSIDER. "Because what you will find is that you start to change. You start to have more confidence, you start to believe in yourself more. It's just very empowering because you're the one who's in control, and you're the one who's making the decisions."

Part of this confidence comes from financial freedom — Mistress Montana's apprentices make half of her $325-hourly rate — as well as a more individual kind of independence.

"They find that they make a very good living, they become very successful at it, and with that success comes confidence," she told INSIDER. "So, what happens is that the person you're married to or dating, maybe he liked you the way that you were. And now, all of a sudden, you start having an opinion, and you have thoughts and beliefs and believing that you have value. And now all of a sudden, he's upset, because he's like, 'Who are you?'"

This can alter some personal relationships, sometimes irrevocably. But Mistress Montana doesn't necessarily view this as being a bad thing.

"You're now becoming the woman you were meant to be," Mistress Montana told INSIDER. "You're someone who believes in yourself."

For more great stories, head to INSIDER's homepage.

Join the conversation about this story »

NOW WATCH: Here's why the US Men's team sucks at soccer

• Sex is pretty important for the majority of people in intimate relationships.
• According to psychologist Madeleine A. Fugère, there are four scientific ways sex brings couples closer together.

Sex is a vital part of romantic relationships for many people, apart from maybe those who are asexual. For everyone else, it is what separates an intimate relationship from any other friendship.

For some people, the lack of sex in a partnership may lead them to be unfaithful. Not necessarily because they want out of the relationship, but because their needs aren't being met.

According to psychologist Madeleine A. Fugère, sex is so important in a relationship because scientifically it brings people closer together and forms bonds.

She explained in a blog post on Psychology Today that there are four scientific ways sex makes you feel closer to your partner.

Here they are:

1. Oxytocin

Also known as the "love hormone," oxytocin reduces stress and increases feelings of closeness and trust between people. A study from 2012 found that couples who were together over six months had higher baseline levels of oxytocin than those who had broken up over that time.

Oxytocin is released after orgasm, and also makes you feel closer to the one you're with. In other words, regular sex may make it less likely you'll want to cheat.

2. Pillow talk

When couples have intimate chats in bed, usually after sex, it's called "pillow talk." The more they share, the more related satisfaction they are likely to feel, according to a study from 2012. Sharing secrets and personal information with each other is likely to increase intimacy, and thus lead to more sexual desire for each other.

3. Afterglow

According to a study from 2017, sexual afterglow is "enhanced sexual satisfaction that lingers following sexual activity."

"In essence, some couples stay sexually satisfied long after intercourse has ended," wrote Fugère. "In some couples, their sexual satisfaction lasts for up to two full days. Furthermore, the longer their sexual afterglow lasted, the more marital satisfaction couples reported over time."

4. Brain activity

When feeling sexual desire, some areas of the brain — the thalamus, hippocampus, and anterior cingulate cortex — are activated. Other research has found how the anterior cingulate cortex, the insula, and the posterior cingulate cortex were active when people looked at pictures of their loved ones of erotic photos of strangers. The suggestion of these results is that love can grow from feelings of sexual desire.

"Whether your relationship is brand new or decades old, good sex can make your relationship closer," wrote Fugère.

Join the conversation about this story »

NOW WATCH: Brazil's empty $300 million World Cup stadium

After having a baby, a lot changes for the parents— including their sex lives. When it comes to doing the deed after having children, some parents say that things are business as usual in the bedroom, whereas others say that it’s just not the same.

These Redditors share the details of what their sex life is like after having kids. Note that these are just for fun and INSIDER can’t authenticate these stories.

"Sex was attempted, no sex was had."

"My husband really thought that six weeks marked ‘everything back to normal’ vs. ‘it would be medically inadvisable to attempt sex before this point.’ He bought condoms and everything, super cute.

“Sex was attempted, no sex was had."– Redditor Gluestick05

"A crying child doesn’t put anyone in the mood."

"One of the things I knew deep down but wasn't truly ready for was how much having a child gets in the way of sexy times, especially early on. A crying child every couple hours just does not seem to put anyone in the mood. Two pieces of unsolicited advice: Your best bet is nap times in the afternoon, and if she does the housework, congratulations! You now do all of the housework. Wash the dishes, vacuum the floor, clean the stove. And you have to do the little things, too, like clean the sink after you're done doing the dishes. This, more than flowers, more than any other romantic gesture you can imagine, will do the most to increase your chances [of having sex]."– Redditor nordic_barnacles

"We’re making it work."

"I'm three months postpartum [and] we’ve had sex six times since the six-week mark. Dryness has been the main issue, and needing to stop every few minutes to reapply copious amounts of lube is a bit of a mood killer, but we’re making it work"– Redditor espressofueledaskhie

• A relationship won't always be passionate and spontaneous, therapists say. It's normal to sometimes feel bored in your marriage.
• But there are ways to spice things up, like planning to do something "illicit" with your partner.
• This post is part of Relationships 101, a series which aims to help us all be happier and healthier in love — and to stop fighting over who should take out the trash.

If there's one "problem" relationship experts hear over and over again, it's this: The passion has faded. The routine has replaced the spontaneous.

Yet most of those experts will tell you this generally isn't a reason to freak out. If there is a problem, it's in how you're handling the boredom.

Over the past few months, I've asked sex and relationship therapists to share their top strategies for keeping the passion alive in a romantic relationship, and preventing ennui from creeping in. Here are the best tips I heard:

Accept that the waxing and waning of passion is normal

Couples therapist Rachel Sussman puts it bluntly. "Were we really put on this earth to have a monogamous sex life for 50 years and have passion the entire time for our partner?"she said when I interviewed her last year. "I don't think so."

So when couples come to see Sussman complaining about the lack of passion in their relationship, she wants them to know: This is normal.

People are worried "that something's wrong with them," she told me. They think "maybe something's wrong with the couple; maybe something's wrong with them individually."

Chances are, there's not. "People think, 'Oh, [passion] should just be there,'" Sussman said. "No! It shouldn't just be there. You have to create it."

One strategy Sussman recommends? Scheduling sex dates, right there on the calendar.

Plan to do something 'illicit' in your relationship

Tammy Nelson is a sex and relationship therapist, and the relationship expert at Ashley Madison, a website for people seeking affairs. Nelson told me the "fantasy of an affair" is simply that "you'll have that impulsive excitement."

But affairs come with risk, like potentially destroying your partner's trust in you and wrecking your own self-image.

So Nelson proposes that people aim to have that impulsive excitement within their own relationships. "You have to have an affair with your spouse," she said. Meet like strangers at a bar one night, for example.

As Nelson said, "You have to make something about your marital sex feel dangerous."

Make your own life more exciting

Ruth Westheimer — a.k.a. "Dr Ruth"— says boredom is the single biggest threat to a romantic relationship.

Perhaps surprisingly, Westheimer advises anyone in this situation to focus first on themselves.

In her 2015 memoir, "The Doctor Is In," she recommends spicing up your own life as a way to combat relationship boredom: Visit the theater, join a book club, take an online course.

"By investing in yourself in all these ways, you'll find that the fog of boredom will lift and the bright light of joie de vivre will being to light your life."

And if it doesn't, it might be time to seek professional guidance, either individually or as a couple.

SEE ALSO: I asked 3 sex and relationship therapists to demystify infidelity, and their answers will make you think differently about cheating

Join the conversation about this story »

NOW WATCH: How couples improved their sex lives in one week

• Veganism is thought to have many benefits, including an improved sex drive.
• INSIDER spoke with a registered dietitian to find out if this is true.
• Although adding more fruits and vegetables might help your sex life, you don't need to be fully vegan to enjoy their benefits.

Being vegan has many benefits. People on the diet say it has helped them lose weight, clear up their skin, and, overall, lead a healthier, more fulfilling lifestyle.

Among the many promised bonuses of veganism is an improved sex drive. PETA frequently runs ad campaigns that imply vegans make better lovers, and some vegan-friendly blogs push the same narrative.

But what is the truth? INSIDER spoke with registered dietitian Bonnie Taub-Dix, creator of BetterThanDieting.com and author of "Read it Before You Eat It — Taking You From Label To Table," to find out how — and if — being vegan can actually have an impact on your sex drive. 

Eating more vegan-friendly food definitely won't hurt your sex life.

In this case, much of the vegan promise checks out: Eating more fruits and vegetables can definitely improve your circulation, which, in turn, can improve sexual function. 

"We want to look at foods that boost circulation, because not only do we want to boost circulation to your brain —which is your sexiest organ — but it also boosts circulation to other parts of your body that you want to work properly," Taub-Dix told INSIDER. "So most of the foods that are vegan can do that. Foods like cayenne pepper, dark chocolate, fruits, leafy greens, sunflower seeds, beets. All of those foods would help to boost circulation, and when you boost circulation, there's a greater chance that you're going to get the response you're looking for."

Implementing more fruits and vegetables into your diet might also reduce your need for certain medications that can potentially diminish one's sex drive.

"If someone is eating a healthier diet it's less likely that they'll need to take meds that could interfere with their sex drive and function," Taub-Dix told INSIDER. 

Limiting animal-based products in favor of veggies could also have a positive effect on your sex life. 

"Foods that are high in saturated fats and cholesterol, which often come in animal products, could clog your arteries instead of making your blood flow more freely," Taub-Dix told INSIDER.

That said, you don't have to go fully vegan to reap the benefits of vegan foods.

Instead, just look at your diet, and see if there are spots where you could add more fruits and vegetables, or limit your animal products. 

"You don't have to be a vegan, in this case. Even going from a diet that is very animal product heavy to one that is more plant-forward would be a good idea," Taub-Dix told INSIDER.

If you do decide to go fully vegan, it can have a lot of benefits — as long as you do it the right way.

The vegan label is fairly broad, and could technically apply to someone who eats lots of fruits, vegetables, and plant-based protein, which would probably give them more energy. It could also apply to someone who subsists solely on bread, which would most likely make them feel sluggish.

"If you're going to go on a diet like [veganism], it takes some thought," Taub-Dix told INSIDER. "I have seen vegans come to me because they're eating all these fake vegan cheeses, and they're just not balancing out their diets with other sources of protein. If you are not finding enough sources of protein, this could limit energy. And if you don't have enough energy, your sex drive may suffer."

Clearly, effective veganism takes some critical thought— and an improved sex life probably shouldn't be your only reason to take up the diet. If you are looking to improve your sex life through your diet, it might be best to focus more on implementing a higher quantity of fruits, vegetables, and healthy fats into your daily consumption rather than deciding to become vegan without considering what it really means.

In the end, when it comes to improving your sex life, one of the most important things to consider is confidence. And, although a vegan or vegan-inspired diet could help with that, it's likely not the only thing that might make you feel more confident. So, to improve your sex life, start by thinking about what makes you feel good in your own body — whether or not that means adhering to a vegan diet is up to you.

For more great stories, head to INSIDER's homepage.

Join the conversation about this story »

NOW WATCH: A diehard Mac user switches to PC

• TGI Fridays wasn't founded as the sit-down, family-centric chain it is today, but instead as one of the first bars where singles could mingle in the midst of the sexual revolution. 
• "My business plan was to meet a lot of women," founder Alan Stillman said in Business Insider's new podcast "Household Name." "It's a hell of a business plan, I’ll tell you that."
• TO HEAR THE FULL STORY, subscribe to the podcast for free here.
  

When TGI Fridays' founder created the chain, he had just one thing on his mind: women.

The year was 1965. Alan Stillman was a 28-year-old living in New York City, selling essential oils and trying to meet girls at cocktail parties. Then, came an opportunity to buy a schlubby, neighborhood bar on the Upper East Side.

In the midst of the sexual revolution, people were looking for somewhere to mingle unchaperoned, a seismic shift in how Americans were dating. Stillman was convinced that he could turn the bar into just that place. 

"My business plan was to meet a lot of women," Stillman told Business Insider in an interview for our new podcast "Household Name.""It's a hell of a business plan, I’ll tell you that."

Stillman borrowed money from his mother to repaint the bar, which he named TGI Fridays. After it opened in March 1965, the customers quickly followed. 

"It became more similar to what a mosh pit is," Stillman said. "It was so crowded that you didn't have to walk up to anybody to get a name or a telephone number. You bumped into them." 

The success produced imitators — so many that New York Magazine dubbed the strip of the neighborhood on the Upper West Side the "Fertile Crescent" as singles flooded the area looking for dates. Stillman franchised his concept, allowing Fridays to spread across the country, bringing alcohol and an excuse to meet people to the masses. 

Today, TGI Fridays is a far cry from the singles bar of the sexual revolution. The chain is more likely to draw in families than a 28-year-old trying to pick up some women. But, according to Stillman, that's the natural progression of things. 

"You don't need a TGI Fridays bar scene to meet somebody," Stillman said.

"We're back to all the electronics around here," he continued. "It's just not a necessity, whereas at the time, although I didn't know it, we invented a necessity and we solved what was a really big problem." 

To hear more from Stillman and others who dated at TGI Fridays back when it was one of the first singles bars in America, subscribe to "Household Name," a new podcast from Business Insider premiering July 25. Subscribe for free on Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, or your favorite app. Next week's episode tells the story of how Donald Trump saved Pizza Hut's stuffed-crust pizza, and how it saved The Donald, too. 

SEE ALSO: The manager of the last Blockbusters in Alaska speaks out on the death of the chain, nostalgic tourists, and Russell Crowe's jockstrap

SEE ALSO: How to subscribe to a podcast

Join the conversation about this story »

NOW WATCH: How Tabasco sauce is made

The decision to have a child is one that requires a lot of thought. And once you decide the time is right, you must then take steps to actually conceive a baby, a process only made more difficult by the number of myths about conception.

INSIDER talked to Dr. Mary Jane Minkin, professor of Obstetrics, Gynecology, and Reproductive Sciences at Yale University, and OB-GYN Dr. Rachel Urrutia, professor of General Obstetrics and Gynecology at UNC to separate fact from fiction. 

Here are the six most common myths the doctors hear when it comes to conception, and the truth behind each. 

Myth 1: You should have sex in a missionary position to help the sperm reach the eggs.

Urrutia said this myth is often coupled with the idea that women must lay on their backs after having sex to assist the sperm in reaching the eggs. In reality though, she said position makes no difference. 

"The sperm can actually get up into the uterus really quickly if the right mucus is present," she said. "If you are fertile the mucus literally acts like a superhighway, and you don't really need tobe in a certain position."

Minkin agreed, saying people have gotten pregnant in all sorts of positions and there have been no scientific studies proving one is better than another. She also added that it won't hurt if a woman wants to continue laying down for a few minutes after sex, but it also isn't guaranteed to help. 

Myth 2: Your diet when trying to conceive will affect the sex of your child.

Minkin has heard a slew of myths surrounding a couple's diet and the sex of their child. For instance, she has heard if you eat a diet high in salt you will have a boy, and if you eat a diet high in dairy you will have a girl. She said it is completely not true. 

Urrutia agreed, noting there is no reason people should believe this myth, especially as there is no research backing it.

"Really it just depends which sperm fertilizes the egg first," she said, stressing there are male sperm and female sperm. 

Myth 3: You can't conceive on your period.

Urrutia said it is extremely rare to conceive on your period unless you are ovulating very early. Sometimes, however, women will have sex towards the end of their periods and the sperm will survive into the time after their period.

"Sperm can survive five to seven days in the uterus if the right cervical mucus is present; in rare cases, sperm have been known to survive up to nine days," Urrutia said. "A lot of people don't realize that when they have sex before ovulation the sperm can survive until ovulation happens. So some people can conceive during their period and others have sex during their period that can lead to a later conception. "

• People avoid sex for various reasons, including age, to avoid pain during intercourse, lack of interest, and more. 
• Sexual avoidance can result in emotional distress, shame, and low self-esteem. 
• Out of the 19% of adults who do not engage in sex, women are more likely to avoid the act than men. 

Sex has a strong influence on many aspects of well-being: it is one of our most basic physiological needs. Sex feeds our identity and is a core element of our social life.

But millions of people spend at least some of their adulthood not having sex. This sexual avoidance can result in emotional distress, shame and low self-esteem – both for the individual who avoids sex and for the partner who is rejected.

Yet while our society focuses a lot on having sex, we do not know as much about not having it.

As a researcher of human behavior who is fascinated by how sex and gender interact, I have found that sexual avoidance influences multiple aspects of our well-being. I also have found that people avoid sex for many different reasons, some of which can be easily addressed.

The more sex the merrier?

People who have more sex report higher self-esteem, life satisfaction and quality of life. In contrast, lower frequency of sex and avoiding sex are linked to psychological distress, anxiety, depression and relationship problems.

In his landmark work, Alfred Kinsey found that up to 19 percent of adults do not engage in sex. This varies by gender and marriage status, with nearly no married males going without sex for a long duration.

Other research also confirms that women more commonly avoid sex than men. In fact, up to 40 percent of women avoid sex some time in their lives. Pain during sex and low libido are big issues.

The gender differences start early. More teenage females than teenage males abstain from sex.

Women also are more likely to avoid sex because of childhood sexual abuse. Pregnant women fear miscarriage or harming the fetus – and can also refuse sex because of lack of interest and fatigue.

The most common reasons for men avoiding sex are erectile dysfunction, chronic medical conditions and lack of opportunity.

Medical problems top the list

For both men and women, however, our research and the work of others have shown that medical problems are the main reasons for sex avoidance.

For example, heart disease patients often avoid sex because they are afraid of a heart attack. Other research has shown the same for individuals with cerebrovascular conditions, such as a stroke.

Chronic pain diminishes the pleasure of the sexual act and directly interferes by limiting positions. The depression and stress it causes can get in the way, as can certain medications for chronic pain.

Metabolic conditions such as diabetes and obesity reduce sexual activity. In fact, diabetes hastens sexual decline in men by as much as 15 years. Large body mass and poor body image ruin intimacy, which is core to the opportunity for having sex.

Personality disorders, addiction and substance abuse and poor sleep quality all play major roles in sexual interest and abilities.

Many medications, such as antidepressants and anti-anxiety drugs, reduce libido and sexual activity, and, as a result, increase the risk of sexual avoidance.

Finally, low levels of testosterone for men and low levels of dopamine and serotonin in men and women can play a role.

Social and emotional factors – and consequences

For both genders, loneliness reduces the amount of time spent with other people and the opportunity for interactions with others and intimacy. Individuals who are lonely sometimes replace actual sexual relations with the use of pornography. This becomes important as pornography may negatively affect sexual performance over time.

Many older adults do not engage in sex because of shame and feelings of guilt or simply because they think they are "too old for sex." However, it would be wrong to assume that older adults are not interested in engaging in sex.

What is the solution?

Few people talk with their doctors about their sexual problems. Indeed, at least half of all medical visits do not address sexual issues.

Embarrassment, cultural and religious factors, and lack of time may hold some doctors back from asking about the sex lives of their patients. Some doctors feel that addressing sexual issues creates too much closeness to the patient. Others think talking about sexuality will take too much time.

Yet while some doctors may be afraid to ask about sex with patients, research has shown that patients appear to be willing to provide a response if asked. This means that their sexual problems are not being addressed unless the doctor brings it up.

Patients could benefit from a little help. To take just one example, patients with arthritis and low back pain need information and advice from their health care provider about recommended intercourse positions so as to avoid pain.

The "Don’t ask, don’t tell" culture should become "Do ask, do tell."

For more great stories, head to INSIDER's homepage.

Join the conversation about this story »

NOW WATCH: Why the World Cup soccer ball looks so different

• TGI Fridays was one of the first singles bars in America.
• When it opened in 1965, the country was on the precipice of a sexual revolution: A birth-control pill had just been approved, Helen Gurley Brown published "Sex and the Single Girl," and women were protesting to be allowed into men-only bars.
• TO HEAR THE FULL STORY, subscribe to Business Insider's new podcast "Household Name" for free here.

It's hard to imagine any single 20-something today getting dolled up for a night on the town at… TGI Fridays.

But half a century ago, that was the place to practice your pickup lines and find someone to spend the night — or longer — with.

"At the time, there was nothing like that for people in their 20s just getting out of college, there was no place really for them to hang out," said Alan Stillman, the founder of TGI Fridays, in an interview with Business Insider for our new podcast "Household Name."

Stillman was 28 years old when he opened the first TGI Fridays on New York City's Upper East Side in 1965. Soon after, he told Business Insider, the bar "became more similar to what a mosh pit is. It was so crowded that you didn't have to walk up to anybody to get a name or a telephone number. You bumped into them."

TGI Fridays opened at exactly the right moment in time, at what Moira Weigel, author of a book about the history of dating, called the "precipice of the sexual revolution."

Weigel told Business Insider about a number of social factors that conspired to make the mid-60s the perfect environment for a place like TGI Fridays.

For one thing, the FDA had recently approved the oral contraceptive pill Enovid. As TIME reported, by 1963, when Enovid had a reasonable price tag, 2.3 million women had seen their doctors about getting a prescription.

Meanwhile, Helen Gurley Brown, the one-time editor of Cosmopolitan magazine, had just released her book "Sex and the Single Girl."

The fact that TGI Fridays attracted young, single women in droves was no small thing. Weigel said that, in the 1960s, it was "sort of scandalous" for a woman to go to a bar unaccompanied by a man — especially if she was there to meet a man. In fact, the National Organization of Women held protests to allow women into bars that banned them.

TGI Fridays became enormously popular with young people — but it's struggling today

TGI Fridays became so popular on the weekends that police had to close the street. News outlets called the area "The Body Exchange" and "The Fertile Crescent."

Eventually, a TGI Fridays opened in Dallas, and then spread to the rest of the United States. Today, the chain has more of a family-friendly vibe — and like its competitors Applebee's and Chili's, it's struggling to stay afloat.

"You don't need a TGI Fridays bar scene to meet somebody" today, Stillman told Business Insider. "We're back to all the electronics around here. It's just not a necessity, whereas at the time, although I didn't know it, we invented a necessity and we solved what was a really big problem."

But are new-fangled technologies like Tinder really so revolutionary? Or are they simply the next step up from the 1960s version of TGI Fridays?

As Weigel put it, "a bar is a kind of 3D Tinder."

To hear more about dating at TGI Fridays back when it was one of the first singles bars in America, subscribe to "Household Name," a new podcast from Business Insider premiering July 25. Subscribe for free on Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, or your favorite app. Next week's episode tells the story of how Donald Trump saved Pizza Hut's stuffed-crust pizza, and how it saved The Donald, too.

SEE ALSO: TGI Fridays' founder invented the chain as part of his 'business plan to meet a lot of women'

SEE ALSO: How to subscribe to a podcast on your iPhone or iPad

Join the conversation about this story »

NOW WATCH: A diehard Mac user switches to PC

• On July 27th, Mars will be in opposition, meaning the planet is in direct opposition from the sun.
• This could take a toll on a person's relationships and sex. 
• INSIDER talked to an astrologer to find out exactly what mars in opposition means for your love life.

From Mercury retrograde to zodiac sign pairings, there's no shortage of ways that astrology can affect wellbeing. And on July 27th, you'll have a new astrological occurrence to potentially impact your life: Mars in opposition. 

In simplest terms, according to Refinery29, this means Mars is in an opposite position from the sun. More specifically, it means the sun is in Leo and Mars is in Aquarius on the wheel of the zodiac.

INSIDER talked to Leslie Benson, the founder of Astrology For Awakening, to find out how Mars in opposition could affect your love and sex life. 

To understand what Mars in opposition means for you, it's important to examine the power Mars has in one's day-to-day life.

"Normally, Mars opposite the Sun wouldn't be much to note," Benson told INSIDER.  "Because the sun moves one degree every day, it's frequently making different angles to the other planets, and they only last a few days. This Sun-Mars opposition is different. It's coinciding with a lunar eclipse, and Mars is currently retrograde."

Mars will also be the closest to Earth that it has been since 2003, according to the New York Times. So, astrologically speaking, it's safe to say that there will be a lot happening. 

"Mars represents the way in which we exert our will and agency in the world," Benson told INSIDER. "It's where and how we take action, make choices, and move forward. It's a masculine warrior archetype, so it can also be about where we have inclinations or aversions to reactivity, conflicts, or arguments. It also has a dimension of raw sexual energy."

So, when Mars is retrograde — a term that refers to a sudden apparent shift in the movement of a planet — Benson says the energies people usually project outward become more internal, so awareness of them is amplified. This means that it's a great time for some self-reflection around Mars' themes, whatever those mean to you. Mars in opposition allows a window to let everything out.

"We've got a huge opportunity to transform and rewrite our stories around our relationship to masculine energy, both external and internal, our free will, sexuality, and our capacity to do conflict in a healthy way," Benson told INSIDER. "Not all conflict is bad."

The effect this has on you depends, in large part, to where you are in life right now. But because it deals mainly with sexuality and conflict, it's possible that it could have an impact on your love life and relationships.

This may not feel great right away. You may suddenly come to a realization that something your partner does is incredibly irksome to you, or they may realize the same about you, or you might just decide that you're willing to give something new a try in the bedroom.

No matter what the case may be, the key here is communication, not suppression.

It may not feel great at first, but it can offer up a valuable kind of catharsis that's often difficult to attain.

"It's a very intense time, and could come with some turbulence," Benson told INSIDER. "But when approached with the awareness that what is happening is ultimately for our highest good, all that arises can be learned from and harvested as life-lessons and greater wisdom."

So, embrace that conflict. Whatever comes out of it may just be the best thing for you right now.

For more great stories, head to INSIDER's homepage.

Join the conversation about this story »

NOW WATCH: 5 science facts that 'Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom' totally ignored